Zanzibar19 to remake all 21 James Bond movies

So yes, obviously, the headline above is a flaming lie. But we’ve got James Bond fever as we prepare to run out to see CASINO ROYALE.

In honor of the longest running film series going (it’s one of the series which inspired us to go into film) we thought we’d spill our take on the James Bond movie we’d make if given the chance. But we’ll never need that chance now, because it seems MGM and EON Productions (who’ve produced all 21 ‘real’ Bond films) have snagged our idea and run with it.

How’s that? How can they steal something they already own, from two tiny filmmakers they’d never met? They can’t, but it’s a case of great minds thinking alike.

Back in the early 2000s, we were lamenting the state of the Bond series. Yeah, Pierce Brosnan had taken the role and he’d been everyone’s fanboy choice since Roger Moore left the series. But the movies were mediocre. If you can tell me the difference between THE WORLD IS NOT ENOUGH, DIE ANOTHER DAY and TOMORROW NEVER DIES I’ll… well, I’ll yell NERD!

Back about that time, you may have heard about Quentin Tarentino’s hope to make a 1960s set CASINO ROYALE, so we weren’t the only one-time-Bond fans unhappy about the state of things.

In addition to a lot of stale situations, stunts, etc, a lot of weirdness had crept in to the movies over 40 years. Here was Brosnan, supposedly the same character Sean Connery played, who in ‘reality’ was pushing 80. He was supposed to have been married, and still be carrying around the baggage of his slain wife from ON HER MAJESTY’S SECRET SERVICE, but that was 30 years ago. Bond had entered the weird comic-book world where he can have a huge history of adventures, but remain the same age.

Or had he? We spit-balled the hope EON would begin the series again, ala the reboot movie BATMAN BEGINS (which still hadn’t come out), but didn’t think they had it in them, as they’d let the series go so stale. How could they break out some new thinking now?

Then we wondered how can you reboot a series without rebooting? By changing the nature of who James Bond was.

What if, we thought, James Bond wasn’t really a man, but a character the British Government created to throw fear and paranoia into the world of espionage. What if a new up-and-coming agent took on the ‘Bond persona’ every few years, ala Dread Pirate Roberts from THE PRINCESS BRIDE or Keyser Soze from the USUAL SUSPECTS. He’d be the ultimate head-fuck to MI6’s enemies. It would explain whey every few years he looks different, but reports to the same boss, gets equipment from the same Q…

Then we wondered how you’d introduce this idea into the series. How great would it be to have the world sit down to a new Bond movie with Pierce Brosnan and kill him in the first five minutes! Then, the rest of the movie would be the first adventure of the new James Bond who tracks down the guy who killed the previous 007.

We then wondered who’d you get to play the bad guy who kills Bond. How cool would it be for a former ‘Bond’ to have gone bad and need to be terminated? How cool would it be for Sean Connery to be that guy, i.e. to be the ultimate James Bond villain?

Very we thought. Then we had to get back to our day jobs, and put the fantasy to bed.

So tonight we get ready to go to CASINO ROYALE, the reboot movie we never thought we’d be lucky enough to see. And watching the preview, we realized Judi Dench is playing M, the boss of Daniel Craig’s Bond. The same actress playing the same character who was the boss of Brosnan’s Bond (say that fast five times). If this was a reboot, why was it the same boss? Did the ‘official’ James Bond series take this idea on?

Was EON listening?

No, but like we said, great minds think alike.

Thanks for watching.



~ by zanzibar19 on November 17, 2006.

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